Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Starbucks Misadventures 4 - "You are an awful human being"

Hello world.  I would like to debrief after having perhaps the strangest encounter(s) with another human being I've ever had.  It's hard when you can't easily label someone acting strangely (tired, mentally ill, drunk, high, etc.), as having that label often helps explain their abnormal behaviors.  This man's behaviors are and always will be a mystery to me...

This guy came into Starbucks tonight, looking quite normal and attempted to ask us something.  He's around 35-40 years old, I would guess.  He was having trouble finding words, but we gathered that he was asking for directions.  He then asked me to come over, closer to him (yes, of course me), and he proceeded to say he was looking for a gay bar.  He whispered this like it was the 1960s in Texas, or something.  My mind went straight to wanting to be supportive of this assumedly closeted gay man, so I offered to look up the place on my phone.  There was a customer sitting right behind us who said she'd look it up.  At this point, we still think he's a normal-ish, lost man.

He's acting sheepish and said he hadn't been drinking and that he promised he wasn't abnormal.  She shrugged and goes, "Hey, we're all a little bit abnormal." I liked her immediately.  So she looks it up and we tell him where it is.  He would not listen and wasn't comprehending anything we were saying, even though all he had to do was walk 3 blocks on one street and he was there.  He kept holding his hands out and saying he was bad with directions, saying that he had to turn, when we kept saying no, it's on this street.  He then asks how he will know where it is, or whether or not he's found it.  I thought this was an odd question, and we're slowly realizing this guy is a bit off.  I told him the address of the place, for the 10th time, and that I'm sure there will be a sign... I mean, it's a public place, not some guy's apartment, right?

After about the fifth time repeating the directions, I see the girl start to put her headphones in, so I know she's over it as much as I am.  The guy then looks around and leans in and says, "So. Do you know any? Any of the gays?" The girl goes, "What a strange question that is." I said, "Of course we do."  I'm now offended by this man, and confused about his motivations.  The girl then tells him goodnight, and he begins to talk nonsense, saying, "The 'gays' have been through a lot, they fought at Stonewall." I cut him off and say, "Yes, we know, have a good night sir," and he left.  We were so confused by this man and what his circumstances were.  And why he kept saying, "the gays" yet was going to a gay bar.

As if this weren't enough, fast forward about 2.5 hours to 10pm, when my coworker and I are closing.  Everyone else has left, and I am literally steps from locking the door, when none other than our lovely guy comes stumbling through the door, his belt unbuckled and dangling almost to the floor.  I am immediately on edge and wary of this man, as well as not interested in putting up with people's bullshit.  It's closing time and I am supposed to be going home soon.  He is otherwise dressed and looks fine, but is clutching his chest and freaking out, waving his hands around.  Before he had even said anything, I told him that we were closed.  He said he needed help.  I asked what was wrong, asked if he was having an asthma attack, what he needed.  It seemed like some sort of panic attack.  He wouldn't answer, but just said he needed help and was looking quite crazed and flustered.  I told him sorry but we are closed.  I couldn't tell if he was just crazy or legit needed help, but at that point, I wanted him away from us.

I urged him out the door, into the little vestibule... so he was still inside the building, but not in the store.  I locked the door between us, to keep him away from us, at which he grabbed his head and started saying he needed help, that he couldn't believe this, couldn't believe I wasn't helping him.  I'm standing literally 2 feet away from him, talking to him through the locked door.  Meanwhile, Liz is already on the phone, calling 911 and telling them about this guy.  I tell the man that we are calling for help.  He said he couldn't believe I wasn't helping and that I am an awful human being.  I said, "Look, she's on the fucking phone right now with the police getting help for you."  He stopped talking, but still paced around.  He then went outside and sat right next to our door, with his head in his hands.  I wondered if he was scared of the police coming?  He sat for about 3 minutes, then just got up and walked down the street.  We watched him go... he didn't ask anyone on the street for help and, we couldn't tell, but he may have walked into a restaurant down the way.

SO WEIRD.  And scary.  I was pretty shaken and can still hear him saying that I am an awful human being.  I know that's not true, of course, but still, it feels pretty cold and terrible to lock out a man calling for help (looking back, I don't think he ever specified medical help or just help in general) in a vestibule.  Of course, that was what needed to happen to keep Liz and me safe, and I was still communicating with him through the door.  If he had really needed help, he could have just waited there until help came (which they never did, by the way...  NOT reassuring.)

The whole thing was just so strange.  Why did he come back to us, when he could have asked anyone on the street for help?  Did he ever make it to the gay bar?  What had happened that caused him to freak out?  Did he do something bad and wanted to confide in us?  Did he even remember having been to our store earlier?

My guess is that he was on some sort of drug, and then perhaps, maybe after mixing with alcohol, it caused him to freak out.  Who knows.  Probably better not to know.  I do hope he didn't do anything bad to anyone else and that he is okay.  I'm also glad Liz and I were together and in control the entire time.  Man, oh man, what a crazy night.  I'm not sure my attraction of eccentric people + Starbucks' natural tendency to attract crazies is a very good combination... ha!

On a more positive note, I worked with great people tonight and the night otherwise was a lot of fun :) Sleep well, world.
carpe diem, hakuna matata, no day but today... redhead OUT. 

Namaste

4 comments:

  1. I've had a number of these confrontations in my work, and a number of those people either weren't on drugs but were seriously mentally ill and hadn't been treated, or were on medications for the seriously mentally ill, or were not taking their medications. You did exactly the right thing. Compassion for persons like that doesn't mean making yourself a target.

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  2. Clearly, you're not an awful human being. I don't think you could have handled that situation any better than you did! (And someone needs to give you a mug pin for dealing with that crap...I mean, seriously.)

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  3. Mum, that is true - I wonder if he wasn't taking meds he was supposed to be. The more I think about it, the more that seems to make sense. I also appreciate your comment about compassion. I think that was bothering me, because it felt terrible to lock a door on a person begging for help, but you're right - I still showed him compassion, but also kept me and my coworker from harm in the meantime.

    Thank you, Lisa... that means a lot coming from a fellow barista! I will ask tonight about getting a mug pin... I should have also gotten one for cleaning up pee on the OUTside of the bathroom once. Same shift, so maybe she'll give me one :) Always exciting!

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  4. OMG...you poor thing! That would freak me out!

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