My (lovely, normal, not high at all) voice

One time when I was 9 years old (read, when my voice was even higher than it is now), my family was visiting a zoo in Australia and we were standing by the dingo exhibit.  They all were sound asleep, and thus not very entertaining, so I enthusiastically began telling my family a story.  I'm sure it was really interesting and I'm sure they were really listening.  I'm chattering along, and all the sudden, the ENTIRE pack of dingoes becomes wide awake, they all jump up, and start howling and howling.  And we're not talking just a little wake up bark, we're talking intense howling, like they'd heard one of their kind out there in the wild somewhere and were trying to attract it to their pack.  Or that I was a scary intruding dog and they needed to warn the others.  We, fortunately, have the entire thing on video :)

This brings me to my first commonly heard quote about my speaking voice, "Only dogs can hear you in that register."

The dingoes before the Russell arrival (except actually asleep)

So more like this

The dingoes after our arrival :)

 I usually tend to forget how other people hear my voice, so it still often surprises me when people comment on it.  Here are some memorable quotes regarding my speaking voice that I have heard over the years:

- My friend's mom called me "Tiny" for years.  At first I didn't get that she was referring to my voice. 
- "Your little squeaky voice."
- "You sound like you're five."
- Many people have told me that I should be the voice for a cartoon character/animated film.  Most of those people were complete strangers, including one homeless guy.  
- "You have one of those high voices, you know?" (the most recent encounter)
- Lots of, "Aww, your voice is cute."
- "We always thought she would grow out of it." (thanks, Mom)
- "When she gets excited, her voice goes up 2 octaves."
- Lots of mimicking, 99% of the time by men
- My friend told me that she didn't believe this was my real voice for like the first 3 years she knew me... 
- I don't think my sweet grandma has heard me clearly in a looong time.

And my personal favorite from a British exchange girl in high school - "Sounds like you swallowed a dog toy and the squeaker got stuck in your throat." :) 

And my favorite compliment about my voice came from a college acting vocal coach, who I highly regarded.  In response to me saying a lot of people made fun of my voice, he whipped his head around, raised his eyebrow, peered at me over his glasses with the most diva, bring-it-on face, and said - "You tell them Kristen Chenoweth also has a high voice." One of the nicest things anyone's ever said to me.  (And for all of you who don't know, this was when Kristen was starring in Wicked on Broadway...)

Anyway, thanks to his helpful comment and having lived with this disea... I mean voice, for 26 years, I have come to appreciate that it is something unique about me and that it is part of what makes me, me.  I need to figure out a way to put it to good use!  For now, I'll just embrace the fact that I can speak to dingoes and no one else can.  Well, except for maybe my aunt. :) 

A last little thing to consider - this article Amanda brought to my awareness :)  
http://newsfeed.time.com/2010/10/12/why-high-voices-attract-men-but-threaten-women/ 

carpe diem, hakuna matata, no day but today... redhead OUT. 
Namaste

How crazy life is...

So, I JUST finished my last post about how I REACT to things and tend to lose my brain a little.  I posted it and then decided to read a little before going to bed.  This is literally the paragraph/topic I open my book to:

"We keep ourselves in crisis state - adrenaline flowing and muscles tensed, ready to react to emergencies that usually aren't emergencies.  We jump to the first feeling that comes our way and then wallow in it.  We think the first thought that comes into our heads and then elaborate on it.  We say the first words on our tongues and sometimes regret them.  We do the first thing that comes to min, usually without thinking about it.  That is the problem: we are reacting without thinking - without honest thought about what we need to do, and how we want to handle the situation.  Our emotions and behaviors are being controlled - triggered - by everyone and everything in our environment."

... "Reacting usually does not work.  We react too quickly, with too much intensity and urgency.  Rarely can we do our best at anything in this state of mind."

"We react because we're anxious and afraid of what has happened, what might happen, and what is happening.  We react because we think things shouldn't be happening the way they are.  We react because we don't feel good about ourselves.  We react because most people react.  We react because we think we have to react.  We don't have to.  We don't have to be so afraid of people.  They are just people like us.  We don't have to forfeit our peace.  It doesn't help. ... We don't have to take things so seriously.  We don't have to take other people's behaviors as reflections of our self-worth." (Melody Beattie)

Interesting stuff!  It's just so fascinating to me that the one night I choose to write about that, about how I want to be as cool as a polar bear, there some help/advice is waiting for me on the page.  Life works in crazy ways.  For some reason this quote just popped in my brain - "Everything will be all right in the end... if it's not all right then it's not yet the end."  Not sure how much that relates, but seems like a nice way to end this post.  And if you didn't like that quote, here's another cute little animal for you :) 

Want. to. hug. just. can't. quite. reach. 

carpe diem, hakuna matata, no day but today... redhead OUT.  

Namaste

Starbucks Misadventures 2 - how I handle awkward situations

Tonight was really slow.  Since when did a little misty rain stop people getting Starbucks?  It seems to work well for Seattle...  I tried to get my manager to close early, but no such luck.  So instead we all were just chatting behind the bar.  I was standing on the far end, my supervisor was standing down at the other end, and sitting behind her were two very attractive, tall guys, who come in quite regularly (and yes, I blush every time I take their order... so smooth).  I am mid-convo with Nancy, and I say, "Nancy, what about you, are you dating anyone?"  The cute boys must have missed the 'Nancy' part (or perhaps it was a childhood nickname to which they were used to responding), and they both look over and say, "US?! Are you asking us?" I turned 50 shades of red and looked at Nancy desperately.  I laughed awkwardly and mumbled something about, 'No, I was NOT talking to you...' and then proceeded to run to the back room to safety.  FAIL!  I didn't even get their answer... 

Me, apparently... 

This seems to be a common theme, that has become apparent to not only me, but my coworkers.  The other day I spilled hot coffee on myself in front of two customers, and, instead of reacting like a normal human, I just mumbled something about refilling it for them if they wanted, and then ran away, my hand burning from hot coffee, leaving them completely bewildered.  My coworker still laughs at me for that one.  And the poor guy this weekend who had the courage to ask me to brunch, I thanked, but said I had plans and that I had to get back to work (a polite excuse to run away)... and probably more mumbling, of which I can't be sure. 

What I will be, eventually 

What this has made me realize is that I let myself panic, unnecessarily, and then just escape from the awkwardness.  I instead need to take a moment in these situations and just let them happen.  Just go with it.  Flow with the flow, breeze with the breeze.  Embrace the awkwardness.  Bask in the chaos with everyone involved.  BREATHING will help, as will letting my brain take a moment to process the situation before physically or mentally running away.  I'm going to work on this until I can stay as cool as this polar bear here.  Just being aware that I do this has helped a bit already.  It has also made me aware that sometimes I simply just look like a crazy lady talking to myself.  I'm okay with that at times... but I'm also okay with finding out what opportunities may come from NOT running away :) 

carpe diem, hakuna matata, no day but today... redhead OUT.  

Namaste

Starbucks Misadventures

Tonight I flooded the back room of Starbucks.  I mean, no Katrina, but we're talking about 2 inches of water all over.  And not just water - soapy, foamy, bubbly mop water.  All around all our supplies.  Luckily it was Allison-proofed and most everything was off the ground.  How, you say?  Well simple.  

I have the memory of a fish.  I started filling the mop bucket, and then decided to go out front.  I'm so productive that way.  Talk about out of sight out of mind... my supervisor asked me to do something, so I did, of course.  Then at least 10-15 minutes later, he goes back and screams.  I have a moment where I think, What's he being so dramatic about now?  It clearly has nothing to do with me.  Then BOOM, I remember.  Ooops.  This miiiiight have something to do with me.  

I appear at the scene of the crime... water everywhereeee.  My coworker looks so flustered that he can't handle it and runs to the front, leaving me to assess this wonderful situation.  I use my best detective skills and see that there's one little drain, so I figure I must get all the water to that drain.  Clever, I know.  So I spend the next 15 minutes sloshing around like a baby deer on ice and manage to squeegee a majority of the water and bubbles into/toward the drain.  I think I did them a favor by deep cleaning the entire floor.  I should get a raise.  I also should have gotten a photo.  I promise if this ever happens again to get one. 

carpe diem, hakuna matata, no day but today... redhead OUT.

30 Day/12 Month Challenge - December/January

30day/12month

Okay, so I've kind of failed at keeping up with my 30 day challenges.  I would like it known that for November I ended up doing NO CHOCOLATE MILK for the entire month.  This was such a good exercise for me... this is the girl who used to come home from school and would get headaches if I didn't have my chocolate milk.  And when I say chocolate milk, I mean milk with about 1/2 inch worth of Hershey's syrup.  I now am not quite as addicted - though yes, for all of you who just snorted at that, those who have seen my crazy necessity for the substance, I still do have massive cravings that cannot be appeased by anything but the milk de chocolate... just not every day.  Anyway, I made it a whole month without it and it actually wasn't too bad.  It's true that the less sugar you have, the less you crave it.  

December I did the getting in touch with people.  I sent out some postcards and saw some old friends.  I know December was weaksauce, but it just was busy with holidays and work.  

January has proven a bit difficult, and seeing as it's halfway over, I think I have quite failed this month.  I might make this a work related challenge, since that is something I have already been doing.  I am going to say that I have to recruit 150 patients by the end of January.  That seems a little ambitious, but we're already at about 85, so I think it can be done.  Let's see! 

Just to be clear - when I say recruitment, I mean that I sit in a doctor's office checkout area and basically sell my body.  I mean study.  I have to walk up to people and ask if they want to do my study.  This means a lot of rejection.  I tell myself this is character building.  It also means that I have to remember that I have a voice that only dogs and small children can hear.  The other day I walked up to an elderly man, who happened to be reading a book.  Standing about a foot away from him, I said, Hello sir, excuse me.  (NO response... I speak up)  Excuse me, sorry to bother you (nothing).  I look, completely flustered, at the checkout lady, who has witnessed this whole situation, and quietly and quickly run back into my safe little interview room.  Yes, I win the award for most awkward person in the world every single day.  

I do enjoy recruitment though - I get to talk to so many great, new people every day, and many of them share such wonderfully inspiring stories with me.  

My other goal for January is to start writing stories of things that happen to me daily - mostly these will be recruitment and Starbucks misadventures, because some are just too great not to share with the world.    

carpe diem, hakuna matata, no day but today... redhead OUT.